I love Facebook. For a lot of reasons, I love being able to keep up with friends and family all over the world through FB. Most humans have Facebook accounts, which means most brides have FB accounts. Somewhere along the line recently someone added me to one of those “wedding planning” FB groups (you know the ones with a billion people you’ve never met in them) and I am horrified by the things I have been seeing. Truly HORRIFIED.
Brides. Grooms. MOB’s. FOB’s. MOH’s. etc…..LEND ME YOUR EARS errrr eyes…
STAY OUT OF THESE GROUPS. I don’t care who thinks they are a great idea, or who is trying to add you to them, they are a cesspool of misinformation and bad advice, like, REALLY BAD.
The thing about wedding planning is that no weddings are created equal. There are literally hundreds of variables to every single event, so while people in these groups generally have good intentions, the “advice” given often falls flat and it seems like it’s a place for negative attention seeking.
Another thing that really burns my biscuits about these groups- SO MANY screenshots of messages from bridal party members and family members, can you imagine if one of those people saw a “rant” with a screenshot of a message from them in a group on fb that they didn’t know about? It’s so hurtful and some of these groups have literally tens of thousands of members, you have to at some point assume you’re going to know someone in there and that person may see this. So just, don’t.
So many posts are about pricing brides are getting from various vendors. Friends, location has a *****HUGE**** (did the obnoxious amount of asterisks highlight that enough?) impact on what you will pay for your wedding. Running to these groups when you get a quote from a vendor to compare to what everyone else is paying is like trying to get a wedding dress made by your caterer, it makes NO. SENSE. Newsflash- your wedding vendors are not trying to scam you.
How about the oh so common post “how did you ask guests to give you money”, to which one unfortunate human replied “I tell people I’m registered at Bank of America”. DO NOT say that to anyone. Ever. Although many wedding etiquette rules and traditions are going by the wayside more and more often, money is still something that should be handled with respect. It is your choice to not register for gifts in hopes guests will gift money, but it is ultimately your guest’s decision as to what to gift you with, please don’t waste any time trying to make up a poem to tell them you want cash.
After all of this, I think the thing that really bothers me about these groups is the fact that support and guidance during this special time is the EXACT REASON YOU HAVE A BRIDAL PARTY. It isn’t for the photos, or the matching robes, or the champagne toasts, or so “both sides are equal”, it’s because those people you popped the question too are supposed to be your RIDE OR DIE TILL THE END OF THE WORLD friends. They are the people who will support you in your marriage, and they should be who is helping you plan your very special day. THEY are who should get the pics of the 3 dresses you’re trying to choose between, or the trial you did of your centerpieces, or the before and afters of your makeup trial. If you don’t value their opinion enough to include them in your planning conversations then why are you having them in your bridal party?
10,000 strangers on the internet don’t give a sh*t about your wedding. WHY are you taking any advice from them?!
Get out of these groups.
Just get out.
*steps off soapbox*
I tell you these things because I love you and I want you to be happy.