My Own Wedding…thoughts 9 years later

It’s so hard to believe I have been Mrs. Jensen for 9 years. It truly seems as if time has flown by, but then at the same time, I feel like it hasn’t.

I’m sure some of you know about my wedding day, and some of the circumstances surrounding it. Basically, I was incredibly ill. That’s right. H1N1. Fever of 103.5 walking down the aisle. Every girl’s dream right….not so much.

I remember being freezing one second and ON FIRE the next, much of my reception I stood outside with my heavy satin gown draped over a railing because I couldn’t regulate my body temp.

This is where a lot of my passion for day of coordination comes from. I had planned to do SO MUCH myself. After all, we were barely out of college and our guest list was very large thanks to my giant family and my husband being from a small town (so literally everyone is invited) and I wanted to make it nice. However, I was exhausted. At the end of the day, I just didn’t care about anything. I knew the food was good. I knew the reception space would be pretty. I knew I’d be married by the end of it all. There were so many beautiful things, and so many things that went wrong, and so many things that just didn’t get done because I was so ill in the couple days leading up to the wedding. This is why I can say from experience that sometimes, the little things, just do not matter.

Here’s some fun details-

The bad:

I HATED my wedding dress. Truly the only reason I even wore it at all was because my mother bought it for me and that meant a lot to me. As a plus size bride to be I had the worst dress shopping experience you can imagine, and settled for a gown that I wasn’t happy with at a second dress shopping trip because the first was so horrible.

My flowers showed up the wrong color (like…not even close).

I did my own hair and makeup and all my bridesmaids hair which was a great choice actually because it kept me busy that day and I couldn’t focus on the bad parts of the day. I just wish someone would have told me my hair looked awful!

The good:

The reception was wonderful, the food was delicious (pulled pork and pulled beef, au gratin potatoes, fruit).

I fought my dad for my favorite champagne (Gionelli Asti) and yes, it was $3 more per bottle than another brand and we would need A LOT of bottles and he absolutely made my mom and I do a blind taste test and we both picked it out immediately but I was not willing to settle on this. I was so sick but I was DETERMINED to drink that damn champagne! I carried around a champagne flute and a glass of water all night because my throat was so dry I could hardly swallow it.

My friend and former show choir partner sang at my wedding and turned around to wink at me while holding the long note. It was incredible.

Cupcakes. Lots of Cupcakes.

So many family and friends gathered to celebrate with us.

I loved my hair piece- it was a crystal headband with a ribbon because I didn’t want a veil.

Our DJ was awesome and my theatre and music friends from my college years did not disappoint in their alcohol consumption and performances on the dance floor.

My husband’s cousin videotaped our entire reception without our knowledge. This DVD is one of my most prized possessions. HIRE A VIDEOGRAPHER (it wasn’t really a thing when I got married but I would do it in a second)

There were so many things I would change in a second about our wedding day if I could. But in the end, we are married and no one probably noticed the things I hated or the numerous things that didn’t happen because I was just too ill to finish them.

Now, here comes the sappy, serious part of this post. No wedding is ever perfect. No couple is ever perfect. You will go through some of the hardest times of your life in your marriage. Don’t let anyone fool you, you will contemplate divorce, you will sleep in separate beds, you will fight, you will scream ugly things at each other, you will throw a plate at your husband’s head and dent the kitchen wall (Corelle is legit that sucker did not break) . You will talk about who gets the dog when you split. You will. Believe me, you will. You will change as a human being without a doubt in the span of your marriage and so will your partner, your love will change, your dreams for your life will change. I am a realist when it comes to marriage, but man I wish people talked more about the down and dirty hard times, because oh man will you have them and people need to know that life isn’t always Facebook and Instagram perfect. But, the beauty of a marriage, is making the choice to stick it out. To plant your feet and stand your ground and be unhappy sometimes but unwilling to waiver in your commitment to the person you stood with on your wedding day. So here’s my advice, when things get hard…because they will, sit in your struggles, believe that your circumstances are temporary, stick it out, and just do your best. Care for each other the best ways that you can. Apologize when that plate flies out of your hand and across the kitchen. Get married in the dress you hate but your mother bought. Sing loudly. Dance Wildly. And most of all, love the life that you build and the person you build it with and just keep going.

And to my husband- thank you. Thank you for loving me through the hardest years of my life. Building a business with me. Loading and unloading my vehicles a hundred times a week when I am so exhausted I can’t stand. Our time is coming.