Alright, this is going to be an extremely authentically Amber post. I hope that when you read it you will feel like I am sitting right next to you, speaking directly to you. I say crazy things like “you do you, Boo Boo…” ALL the time. That phrase is one of my faves lately. We’d also probably have a glass of wine in our hands, so if you need to do so, go ahead and pour yourself a glass.
I recently have been feeling extremely unsettled. My business is becoming literally everything I wanted it to be. I am finding my place in the world and my voice. I am learning that being my true and authentic self is the best thing I can possibly be for my brides…ridiculous sayings and all. So why in the world would I be feeling like something is off, or just not fitting into place the way it should be? Over the last month I have done A LOT of thinking, a lot of lists have been made, goals have been set, and I finally figured out what was bothering me.
Here we go…..
When I first started dreaming of what I wanted my business look like, I would draw a picture of the studio storefront I wanted some day…I wanted and old building with big beautiful windows to make displays of wedding decor in, I wanted exposed brick walls, beautiful lights, a darling vintage dresser turned coffee bar…and you know what. When I moved my business into it’s current home…I got literally all of those things, and here we go, here is where things get CRAZY…hold on friends…
I got THE DREAM….and then I figured out that it was ABSOLUTELY NOT WHAT I WANTED. WHHHHATTTT?! I know, I know. But stay with me here…because I think you might be able to learn something from this…just like I did.
As a business owner, human being, etc….you are going to be faced with making decisions, sometimes they will be right and things will work out great, and sometimes things will just kinda fizzle like a sparkler in a 4th of July thunderstorm…and you know what…THAT IS ABSOLUTELY OK! You cannot possibly learn anything if you never go out on a limb and TRY. I so badly want all of you to see that even if you think something is the end all and be all of your aspirations, accepting the realization that MEH MAYBE IT’S NOT …..is SO GOOD. You’ll come out of the experience feeling so confident in your ability to do what is right for you and your business/whateverthethingisyou’retryingtodo. Which is something that I have struuuuugled with. I have always been so careful about curating the perception of my business…every choice was laced with “but oh my gosh what will people think”…and that got me to a place that didn’t feel AUTHENTIC. And I am just sooo not okay with that.
What I do is so deeply personal. Who I am is someone who cares so much about her clients. I don’t need a studio to do that. Not even one little bit. It doesn’t speak to what I do, it doesn’t hold any emotion, or serve a purpose other than being really cute and a place to see a handful of clients at- I am working so much in Minneapolis/St. Paul and the rest of southern MN that I am on the road 3-4 days a week anyway! WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING WITH THIS STUDIO?! Whyyyy am I shelling out hard earned money for something that isn’t being a valuable employee?! Because that was the DREAM….and what in the world will people think when they see a for rent sign in the window? Yes, I lost sleep over that. SOOO much sleep. Then I realized. People are going think what they want to think and there is not one single thing I can do about that. I need to do what is best for me and the clients I serve….and the people floating out there who have anything negative to say about it…aren’t the clients I want anyway. AND THAT IS OK! It is OK to set your heart on serving clients that love you for you. It’s ok if you aren’t the client for me, IT IS OK! We are all going to survive, and you are going to marry your sweetheart anyway. Go get, em!
So today the sign was placed in the window of the DREAM studio and over the next month I’ll be moving my office back into my home (and hey! I get to redecorate one of our 3 spare bedrooms into a darling babe cave to run MME from! #winning). And let me tell you, I feel so relieved. I feel more proud of this decision, than of ever having that space. This gives me so much more energy to pour into my clients and their incredible wedding days. And wait til you see the view from the new meeting space I will be using for appointments! It’s so fancy! Oh and just an FYI the alternate meeting space will be Bluebird KATO…amazing coffee AND CUPCAKES…I don’t know who could be mad about that! Mockups for decor will take place as they always did before- either at the new meeting space which I get to rent by the day (and seriously, I can’t wait for you to see it), or right at the venue you will be hosting your reception at! EASY PEASEY!
Whew….I did it. I ripped the band-aid off and let the shame of this burden go.
So Friends, take away this…it is OK to make a U-turn when you feel like its necessary. It is OK to accept the change in your heart. It is OK to tell people how you feel. It is OK to TRY. You CAN DO HARD THINGS. You can. Reach for the stars, go after those dreams, but DO NOT feel like you will be letting anyone down when you realize it just isn’t what you dreamt it would be. You do you, boo boo.